Nuts, nuts, nuts!

As 40 and 39 year-old parents jumping on the child-rearing bandwagon again, every so often our circumstance shakes us, and we can't help but think, "What on earth are we doing???!!!!" At times like this, we shake our head, smile, and ask each other, "What is God asking us to do?" It's a test of faith certainly, as well as patience. When we stop to think that, instead of an empty nest in 7 years, we have 18 more years to go, it's humbling and not a little scary. Let's see, when I'm HOW OLD they'll graduate from college?? Oy!

The waiting game

Yet another rollercoaster ride today... after hearing that 2 FedEx packages had been sent to our adoption agency from China, we heard this morning that it included 4 November referrals, but not ours. While I didn't think we would get the news today, you can't help but work up your hopes, and quietly think to yourself, "This might be the day." Butterflies start in the stomach, fluttering when the phone rings, when you see a child, or hear the cry, "You've got mail!" But, alas, today isn't our day. With hopes, prayers, and patience, we approach tomorrow, silently and cautiously thinking... is it today??

Adoption != Baby by Mail

Perhaps it's the lack of bulging mommy belly (won't mention daddy's bulging belly), but folks often are quite taken aback when they learn we are adopting, then the questions start. It's all cool, no problems, except one seems to stick out more than others.

What leaves us incredulous is the persistent question of gender, and folks are consistently surprised that we don't know. Heck, some folks have come across as frustrated nearly to the point of anger that they don't know the gender, perhaps because they can't buy either a cute little dress or knickers? It's just one more oddity in the adoption emotional rollercoaster.

We didn't know in advance with either of our biological children, and kept gender a surprise, but folks were much more accepting of the reproductive dice roll. For some reason, perfect strangers and friends alike seem to equate adoption as some sort of ordering process, like whipping out an L.L. Bean catalogue, and don't quite know what to make of our lack of knowledge of size, color, shape, gender, delivery time, etc. "Yes, I'll take one Asian child please, cute, 16 kilos, male, circumcized, no other missing parts, and wrapped in blue flannel." Hmmm... adoption certainly doesn't work like that. So, we chuckle, smile, nod, share, chat and make it through, and use the experience to share some more. (please pardon the rant)

Adoption Wait is a Rollercoaster

Despite the theoretical lack of pregenancy hormones (and sympathy hormones), we're finding that the final weeks of an adoption are an emotional rollercoaster. While I think we are taking things fairly well, and keeping things in perspective, it's challenging to hear that a referral might be on the way, only to find out that it's not for us. So, we paint, we move, we crochet baby blankets, paint some more, and wait for the news that we are parents again. Sometimes, it's difficult. We aren't to tears yet, but it is starting to ache.